Here we go again!
We have now met with our RE regarding round #2...err make that baby #2. It was a totally different feeling as we walked into the doctor's office to talk about our infertility problems and solutions to them. This time I had my beautiful baby boy and knew that miracles do happen. I guess the pressure is off and I know we can do this.
Of course I was put on Provera. I waited, and waited, and waited after finishing the cycle of meds. Nothing! So, I had to go in for two separate blood tests and a sono before continuing onto estrogen. I guess my lining was thin and my progesterone levels low. This means we can go for it!
Of course this doesn't match up with our original time line. But if I have learned anything from the three years of TTC, it is that schedules and time frames never stick.
Good luck to us!

Keeping up with the Johnny's

The kid competition thing has to stop. One of my friends has a son named Johnny. Johnny does everything early and is a superstar in ever milestone he hits. Johnny can roll over, Johnny can crawl, Johnny can cruise, Johnny can eat a hamburger! Enough with Johnny!

Now, I am all for sharing the successes your child has, but there has to be a limit to which you share. It only brings me down and reminds me that Preston is NOT doing all those things. Sure, I know he will eventually, but my competitive streak comes into play. Hmmm...in reflection this might be my problem and not Johnny's baby mamas! Something to think about....

Regardless, it is hard when a mom brags consistently about their child, especially when they are doing something your child isn't. I have one friend who's daughter didn't walk until 19 months! This poor mom always felt like crap when hanging out with "johnny mom" types. I can only imagine.

So, for those mamas out there - save the bragging for your own mother. We will see what your child can do anyway.

I'm back!

Our sweet baby boy is now 7 months and I have some of my life back. As I sit here listening to his cry it out for his nap (more on that later), I realized I should continue this virtual diary with my LIFE WITH PRESTON.

I was a week late and induced. About 7ish hours of labor, Preston was born. He was a healthy, happy 21 inches and 7 lb 13 oz. My journey through parenthood has not come problem free, as one would hope. I figured after 3 years of TTC I would bet a "gimme" in the easy kid/mommyhood department....but alas that is not so.

Preston had trouble latching on from the start and on top of that I supplied VERY minimal milk. I produced about enough milk to supply a small mouse. This made Preston (and me!) very frustrated and tears were always streaming. I met with lactation consultants, read books, listened to advice from friends, took funky smelling pills, pumped the hell out of my nipples, and still....2 ounces a day. Finally after a month of rarely getting to hold my baby (that damn pump LIVED on my boobs), I quit. We are all happier now. I won't lie, it still breaks my heart that I could not breastfeed my child. I have a theory as to why it didn't work, but now is not the time nor place.

At three weeks old, colic set in. Preston would spend the hours from 9-11am and 3-5pm screaming. No, not crying, screaming! My sweet husband never believed me because note the times: he was never home. Of course weekends were usually good too because our whole day was different, off schedule, etc. We found out a few weeks later that Preston has GERD and needs a Rx as well as special feeding modifications so his food won't rise up in his chest making him feel like he is having a (gasp!) "heart attack".

I tried to do every momma thing in the Bay Area. Yoga, music, umpteen million playgroups. This all went well until Preston was about a month and starting to really have belly problems. He would cry uncontrollably in each activity, causing me to sweat. I swear I should have bought stock in SECRET around that time as I was going through so much of it.

Here we are at month 7, my favorite so far. Preston has two teeth, eats solid food. Okay, let's get real, it is not SOLID by any means and should be called MUSH. He sits up, rolls over, laughs, smiles and babbles on and on. He is so fun now!!!

I will continue with my Preston adventures soon.

PRAYERS CAN BE ANSWERED

I AM PREGNANT!!!! (Could you hear me in New York??)

I am happy to finally report that I am pregnant. The FET cycle proved to be our magic charm. Everything went smoothly from day 1. I loved the ease of the cycle, appointments, medication and transfer.

We put in 2 and on day 9 got a very high HcG result. The doctor was convinced I had twins. I had a follow up 2 days later and my numbers were doubling nicely. At a few days shy of 6 weeks I had another blood draw because my BBs had stopped hurting and I freaked out. Turns out we lost the twin then. However, we still had one great embryo nestling inside me. At 6 weeks and 2 days we saw and heard our baby. What an amazing experience!

I am currently 15 weeks and 4 days - due on July 12, 2009.

Week 6 - 14: "morning" sickness...though it always came in the afternoon. It still comes at times, but is nothing like it was before.

Week 3-13: sore BBs. Still a bit tender, but not throbbing.

Week 13- now: Severe headaches. The worst!!!!!!!!!!!!

I started prenatal yoga at week 12 and love it!

Trisomy tests all came back great with a low chance of Downs or Edwards syndrome.

I an nervous for the anatomy sono at 20 weeks, but hoping for the best. We've made it this far, right?

Thanks for the support!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Out from hiding

I have decided to come back now that I am starting a fresh cycle. School sort of took over and I am now coming up for air.
We have decided to go forward with a FET cycle. Since Aunt Flo has not graced us with her presence since early July, I was put on Provera. I waited...and waited...and waited. She still was stubborn and didn't visit. So, after multiple progesterone tests showing low levels, they just put me on Estrace. I have been on it since Oct. 1. Since then I have slowly put on the LBs and feel like I am carrying a small inner tube around my waist. The joyous Prometrium and Progesterone injections will start on the 19th. Our little babies will join my thus-far-empty womb on the 24th. Not sure how many we'll thaw (is there a better and less dry word for this??!!) and transfer.

We had an appt. to sign our consent to transfer on Friday. The Type A (A for anxious) person that I am showed up for the appt 10 minutes early. The nurse took us 35 minutes late. I thought the doctors and nurses said it was important for me to stay calm right now. Apparently they were kidding, because they only added to my anxiety by making me wait in a room with a woman having her first PG sono. Nice! DH said I was a bit rude to the nurse who took us. Well, after she mentioned she was on a phone call that went long, I was miffed to say the least. What, she doesn't have the decency to alert us about this? It took 3-5 minutes to sign the paperwork. Sure glad we waited around for that lengthy meeting. Okay...maybe I am hormonal right now....

Another announcement made today

Well, that is two in a month. Two women I know well and must see often have announced their pregnancy. I know being 31 makes it hard to avoid, but I wish I could. So, for the next 6 months, whether at work or at my husband's game, I must watch and hear about pregnancy and babies. I will do what I have learned to do over the past few painful years: smile, be gracious, and act interested without asking questions. Of course inside my head I will be thinking, "Why not me?!?!"

Those darn long cycles

Not that I should have gotten my hopes up, but I guess I did. LMP = July 7,2008. That puts me at day 45 of this cycle. I guess I always hope that (I'll be PG!) I will have a regular 28-30 day cycle again. Where did they go? I think the best I had was a regular 32-34. But shoot - I'll take that again!

So now I sit, awaiting my dearest Aunt Flo, but she refuses to visit me. How rude!

On August 25th I will go in for a progesterone test to see if I (ha ha ha) ovulated. Fat chance. We are shooting for early October for our frozen cycle and elated to have this opportunity. If all else fails, a GC is looking more appealing.

Off to spend the money I have saved on tampons and pads these last few years.... Oh wait, I spent it all on PG tests!